The Opposite of Legally Blonde

Sunday, 21 October 2007

I passed my BVC!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I was so nervous, the night before, no alcohol could even make me close to tipsy.
I had a lot! Ended up hyper the whole night and had 3 hours of sleep.
Afternoon came, I was too scared to even pick up Lim's call because I know she'll be the first to call to tell me my results.
After 3 miss calls...finally took the courage to pick up the phone.

hahahah yes all that for nothing.
Thanks for all your prayers,sms and calls for the luck.
The phone practically beeped every hour until 5am. They must have forgotten the time difference of knew I couldn't be asleep.

With that said, my graduation is on the 9th of November and my Call date is on the 22nd of November. I'm so relief now. *phiew*

2 down, one more to go. (that's if I'm not proceeding with the idea of a PHD)

16:01 0 Potato(es)

Friday, 19 October 2007

36-24-36, who doesn't want that ideal figure? At times I feel like I've been victimsed by the media; from silicon bras to gel bras, gel bras with padded metal balls, bras with extra cotton pads, you name it, I've tried it! Why do we put ourselves in this kind of predicament? If all adverts are like Dove adverts (yes they believe in real women! not plastics!), will we still be comfortably satisfied with ourselves?

With all the brain washing around, it's hardly possible NOT to be influenced by it. Don't get me wrong, I love those fakers! I mean, wonder bra's are the next best invention since chocolates!

Imagine the glory of putting on a padded bra. Not only does it make your peanut look like papaya/watermelon (depends on how padded they are), it's a miracle they make your monsoon drain(big drain) turned into my backdoor house "longkang" (malay work for small drain).

Sure guys will go ga-ga (well at least the guys I know would have!), but sometimes i sure do feel bad for them. I remember sitting on the table once with a group of guys who were complaining that "some" of them were con. (hahaha serves them right lar...you're suppose to judge them by their heart not their chest!)

It's like eating Pagoda peanuts. When you choose the big peanut, you open it and tadaaaaaaa....it's 2 small kuchi peanuts there. How? Surely disappointed right? (but actually I kinda like the small kuchi peanuts...taste nicer)

But yah, back to the topic, he said he was embarrassed when he tried to *poke* *poke* (I don't know why he poked! normally people just open the back buckle...silly boy) and the liquid burst. Of course we burst out laughing (VERY LOUD SOMEORE) but at the same time I feel sorry for the girl. She must have bought the ceplak one or just pure unlucky because I've never heard of such before in my life!

Then, I read about "push up underwears". You must be thinking "huh? now all men want to be like CK models too is it?" Yupz, long gone are the days stuffing sox or using pumps (like the show in Dodgeball), now got push up underwears for men too. Before you start thinking I'm a perv, I did not get this idea/picture from some porn site. I simply came across it in Kennysia.com

I'm sure some of you must be thinking, if women are allowed to wear push up bras, what's wrong with men wearing push up underwears? Not that's anything wrong but I am simply not used to the idea of it. If it boost men's ego and it makes them happy, then good for them. But if you're using it to attract positive attention from women, I doubt it'll happen.

Male: Imagine if you are a see a girl with a big hoo-hoo's (thanks to push up's) standing by the door and smiling at you in the club, won't you want to go to talk her?

Female: Imagine if you see a male standing by the door smiling and something out of the ordinary is sticking out of his pants, would you go talk to him?

What I'm trying to say is, if I see the above scene, I would think that

1) he's probably a perv being turned on by girls dancing in the club
2) his manhood is probably real but that's not going to make me want to start a conversation with him

If I go to a club and see a guy wearing tight leather pants with some fairly huge out of the ordinary thinggi sticking out, I won't stare at his reproductive system cuz I might have nightmare. But, if women who is wearing a fairly low top with big hoo-hoo's walk into club, we'll all look . There will probably be some ohhh's and ahhh's from the guys but my girlfriends and I usually like to "spot the fakes" (i don't know why we do it, but we do!).

I don't have a conclusion to my above ranting but what I want to know is which is more disappointing?

Seeing a papaya turn into peanut ?

OR

Seeing a banana turn into a matchstick ?

While you debate, I'll leave you one more quote to ponder about. This is taken from "All men are Liars", Sam de Brito:

"If you publicly insulted a man's skin color, you'd be shouted down as racist. Criticize a woman's weight and or bust size and you're labeled sexist. Pay out a bloke about the size of his dick, however, and you're a comedian."

Labels: deception, influenced, media, push up bra's, push up underwears, vanity

15:57 1 Potato(es)

Tuesday, 16 October 2007

In the midst of our total randomness encounter, TWICE in a day in two totally far random places, I wonder if this is what people call fate or just pure coincidence? I wonder why it always starts out with the negatives. The temper, the arrogance, the full of self, yet fashionable enough and equip with pure wit and charm; to love or to hate...hrmp can I do both? It was never a polite start, yet somewhere in the middle views changes. Is it because I attract all the same people just like the theory of the laws of attraction. Does my brain really work like a satellite dish which seems to transmit only a single category of creatures to my life? (and coincidently/fate these creatures comes with cool transportation)Is it true with the saying that opposite attracts; and if so, should I start LOVING everyone I see? Oh, the drama's. Things I thought I only see in the movies are slowly attracting itself to my dull life.

Today I decided to sit in my room all day and ponder with the drizzle, cold breeze and cloudy sky. It's as if the God is with me today setting up the perfect backdrop to go with my mood.

Tired of thinking, I snuggled into bed for an afternoon nap with the serenading drizzle sound outside my window. Just as I was about to doze off, a called came. Then a beep of message from my phone in the background, followed by a waiting call. Really, what are the odds? Fate, coincidence or just pure bad luck. 3 creatures trying to communicate with the dull me while I was being serenaded by the sound of the rain into slumberland. I can't decide, so I just went with the flow. Told the creature I'm on the phone with that I'm taking a nap, and switch off my phone for the night...then back to bed.

Why? Why can't I be a normal girl that has just ONE creature in her life AT A TIME. Why does it always have to be some drama involve with more than one creature or aliens around to stir things up. Drama, drama , drama. That's what life's for; when you want it you can't have it, when you don't,eventually things will come your way. I should start a book to counter laws of attraction. My theory is the OPPOSITE OF LAW; just do the exact opposite each time, you'll get the results you want. Try it.

16:05 0 Potato(es)

Thursday, 11 October 2007

I, Julienne Wong...burnt my NAIL!

How did I do that you ask?

Let me rewind you back to why I suddenly felt like I need candles to soothe myself. I've been spending 2 days TRYING to comprehend my reading materials (and there's shit loads of things to read). If you think judges are being mean to you with case laws, wait till you read books after books about what academicians and philosophers thought about the genealogy of human rights and their criticism. I mean, I'm reading theories about Human Rights, natural law and legal rights since BEFORE CHRIST up till the 21st century!

Lecturer said "make a 15 minutes presentation" on my Seminar handout. So, since it's my first class, I super gian trying to make a good impression for myself in front of my new lecturer and classmates. And since I've scored a distinction for my PLR, I so semangated , tried to do a power pack point presentation.

Didn't sleep properly for two nights trying to make this presentation somewhat presentable up to standard. Went to class and this is what happened.

Lecturer: So, has anyone done a formal presentation?

(this is what we call sial punya budak because I'm the only one who lifted up my hand!)

Lecturer: Right. So, what kind of formal presentation is this?

Me: Oh, I did power point slides because you said you wanted "15 minute presentation" on your topic.

Lecturer: Well, because it's out first class, we'll just have an informal one so that everyone can participate.

I looked around and everyone just had scribbles on their notes. Some did not even finish reading everything from the reading list.
CHATOU!!! Tell me earlier lar!!

Why when I decide to be hard working, everyone else decides to be lazy! If I knew she wasn't serious about it, I could have slept slumber-ly for 2 whole nights not worrying about whether or not I will make a fool out of myself for not presenting a smart enough power-point for all the "highly intellectual" people!

I even carried my laptop to Uni just in case the computer in Uni decides to screw up (like many other times when I needed it the most!)

I seriously felt like a total idiot.

So for the first hour, I didn't have the mood to participate much. But everyone in class was very engaged with the ongoing discussion of God-knows-what-because-my-mind-is-too-busy-thinking-about-my-bed, I felt like I needed to participate to prove myself worthy with the "highly intellectuals" again. I had all my art of bullshitting skills back on track but was just piss off because this obviously didn't need 2 restless nights.

And so, I was simply trying to light candles in my room to feel a bit relax. Turned on some jazz music, light some candles and off all the lights; then just space out in my own bed. I mean I feel like I need it after spending 3 1/3 hours discussing the genealogy of human rights! It's insane!

So I open my candle box (yes I have a whole collection of them! Enough to light the house on fire), take out the lighter and started lighting the candle. While doing it, I realize something smelled funny and I SAW MY NAILS ON FIRE! Thank God my nails were a little longer than the usual length that I usually keep.

What did I do? Scream lar. But totally forgotten my housemates went to London. And while screaming, I aimed for the carpet and stepped on my own thumb! How did I do that? Fuck knows. Bloody bimbo right? *sigh* You call this a Law student pursuing a Masters degree in LAW someore! Seriously, my natural instinct and my ability to react "logically and rationally" when things like this happen, is close to NONE EXISTENCE!

It smells horrible!! Seriously..just horrible! But at least now I know what burnt nail smells like...

Lifetime achievement right? I mean how many people do you know who has burnt their own nails! Not just had their nails burnt but literally saw flames like as if it was some magic trick from the TV show! Tell me.

15:06 4 Potato(es)

Tuesday, 9 October 2007

Dear friends,

I want to know how much you love me?

What if I can't walk one day, will bring me a bedpan?

Or, if I have gone so poor one day, will you really donate to my "Save the Julienne's fund"?

What if one day I really got hit by a bus (choi! *touch wood*) like what most of you commented when you first met my mom (i know lar I don't look like my mom! skip one generation cannot izzit? Why must it always be the "got hit by bus" comment? -_-)

What if ONE day I look like....

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a fat lady

with a piggy nose

or when I get too caught up with my self (big headed)

or had eye surgery gone wrong (because you all always complain my eyes too small!!)

WILL YOU STILL LOVE ME?

*sigh*

*starts pulling her hair*

They love me...

They love me not...

They love me.........

They love me not........

Ps: yes, in case you're wondering. I am tipsy and restless! They fed me coke!!! :(

17:35 1 Potato(es)

Monday, 8 October 2007

Sounds like the sort of advice I would give my friends. Hahahahah

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then
you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life
really are: You only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it
doesn't move and` should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and
does, use the duct tape.

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

Be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

13:01 1 Potato(es)

Sunday, 7 October 2007

Ingredients:
Cake:
1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
2/3 cup all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
1 cup sugar
1 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
1 cup buttermilk
3/4 cup vegetable oil
4 eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
1 (1-pound) bag carrots, peeled and grated
1 (8-ounce) can crushed pineapple, drained
1 cup pecans or walnuts, chopped
1 cup flaked coconut
1/2 cup raisins or currants

Cream Cheese Frosting:
1/2 cup butter, at room temperature
1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, at room temperature
1 (16-ounce) package confectioners' sugar
2 teaspoons grated orange peel
1 teaspoon vanilla

Instructions:
Preheat oven to 350 F. Sift together the flours, baking soda, cinnamon, salt, nutmeg, and ginger onto a sheet of wax paper. Mix the sugars together in a large bowl. Stir in the buttermilk, vegetable oil, eggs, and vanilla. Pour in the flour mixture, carrots, pineapple, nuts, coconut, and rainins or currants, stirring just until well blended.

Grease and flour three 9-inch round cake pans. Lline the bottoms with wax paper; greasse and flour the waxed paper. Pour the batter into the cake pans. Bake for 30 minutes or until a wooden toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool in pans 10 minutes. Loosen the cake layers
from the edges of the pans and invert onto wire racks. Peel off the waxed paper and cool completely.

To make the frosting, beat butter and cream cheese together in a large mixing bowl until light. Add confectioners" sugar, orange peel, and vanilla, mixing well.

18:27 0 Potato(es)

Saturday, 6 October 2007

I always make fun of my mom for stating the obvious. For example:

*dad opens the front door*
Mom: you're back!
Me: no...i don't see him. You're dreaming. *laughs with gleeee*

*at the shopping mall. Accidentally bumped into me*
Mom: Hey. Are you here for shopping?
Me: No mom. I'm here to wash the toilet. -_-

*at the morning market*
Mom: Mai choi ar? (direct translation: buying vegetable)
Me: No lar. I think your friend came here to inspect vegetable qualities.

And then, I caught myself doing it the other day

*housemate opens the front door*
Me: Eh, you're back!
(monologue: Shit! I'm becoming like my mom)

Why do we do it? It's rubbed into me now. *grrrr*

I also found a product named after me. Ew ew so gross...think Brazilian wax; think my name. *erase thought*

____________________________________________________________________________

Sidetrack: A year ago, I was just like friends; going to Lincoln's Inn for Education Day in London. How time has passed. ={

18:04 0 Potato(es)

Friday, 5 October 2007

Today's photo shot was an interesting one. Can't say too much about it because Boss said confidential. I also learnt a lot about myself today.For example:

*I have minor dyslexia : I mean I always make fun and suspected myself as one. But having someone to actually confirm my symptoms is a shocker! So i made some research as soon as I got home. If you have been faithfully reading my previous blog, you'll realize that the puzzle all fits.

1. Like how I always go on the wrong bus because I misread the wrong number! It's not blurness after all. It's called Directional Confusion. So all those times my friends calling me every ten minutes making sure I'm not lost was not caused by blurness.

2. See I did law because I can't do maths to save my life. I think,say and write 3 different things when it comes to maths! And no matter how many hours I spend practicing maths, I'm just shit. It's amazing that I passed my further maths! And when I was researching about it, I tick every box like the following:

* The dyslexic may have a problem with numbers and calculations involving adding, subtracting and time tables.

*He may be confused by similar-looking mathematical signs: + and ×; –, ÷ and =; < (less than) and > (greater than). (ha!! that's why I can't do matrix!)

* He may have a difficulty with mental arithmetic.

See it all make perfect sense now. I remember going to the BBQ Korean Restaurant with Leng and my family once and the conversation went like this.

Waitress: How many people?

Me: er...9

Leng: No. Eight lar.

Me: Wait let me count...5+3...(with a very convincing puzzled voice) 9!

Leng: Eight lar

Me: No...9!! 5+3 is 9! What's wrong with you?

Leng: Julienne...(at this point, Leng put her fingers in front of my face and showed me) 5 plus 3 is 8.

Me: Oh yah....8 -_-

Waitress: (annoyed at the whole commotion because I can't count) You wait!

And that's not all. I told Boss about how I think I might be suffering from Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) because I wake up every morning with an obsession to clean something and making sure everything is balanced around me.(like the way my bedsheets are made, the way I arrange my things and etc) Also, I'm hyperactive all the time (friends swear by that I'm cheap fun because I am always high on oxygen) and I get even more hyper when people feed me coke.(especially in clubs. give me two cans of coke and I assure you I'll have the guts to dance on stage!)Yahlar, laugh at me for being cheap fun. -_- At least my liver is not ruin and I'm just as high as people who are tipsy. You feed me alcohol, I'll crawl into bed. It's works the opposite for me. *_*

Boss also said it's link symptoms with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) aka Hyperkinetic Disorder. But why it is that I never had the urge to clean while I was in Malaysia? Boss said it's because of my diet. I'm lacking some vitamins of some sort that triggers me having OCD and subsequently ADHD. One of it is Omega 3; which is pretty true and I'll explain why. Ever since I came to the UK, I don't really eat fish because they don't sell fresh ones here. Where I live, we're actually quite close to sea and the harbour but no one sells fresh fish from the boat or market here. Plus, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO CLEAN THE FISH! It's so slippery and yucky.So I hardly touch fish.

See now my blurness has a cause!! So how has this discovery affected me? Not much, just gave me something to blame for all my troubles. I mean, I've lived my life AS NORMAL as I could for 22 years. I don't see why I have to announce my "disability" if I've lived in denial all my life. On another note, I now know my limits and for all those times I get frustrated for not excelling on certain things,(like math,maps and reading efficiently) I can happily let it be without feeling frustrated with myself. I know I can't push myself to do equation and I know I'll always go up the wrong bus.(which means my friends still have to hold my hands to cross the road and make sure I don't take the wrong bus)*aww bless my friends* But that's what makes me; ME!
Hyperactive,crazy,class clown, lame, maths retard, excelling in arts and constantly having weird ideas. (like how I tried to convince Rac's bf to put the Mango into the microwave to make it ripe!)

I'll tell you about my Mango theory another day. Right now, I need sleep and digest my retardeness. -_-

15:27 0 Potato(es)

Thursday, 4 October 2007

Familiarity meets content.Meet up with my friend YF whom I haven't seen in 3 years. Spent the whole day catching up on life. I used to nicknamed him my "husband" and the name is just stuck. He was from my first year law class. (yes that stressful year where only 9 people passed) Meeting up with him again brings back memories about our group of friends and all the nostalgia days. It's always nice to meet up with people you least expect to bump into after losing touch a few years and we still manage to pick up where we left. He's currently doing the BVC which I miss oh, so much! Everytime I walk passed the corridors and passed my baseroom, I'm always tempted to go in, sit there and just let memories passed me by. Despite all the stressful complains I was making, I admit, it's one of the best years of my life! I missed the people, the classes and yes the work.Everytime my friend calls me up to tell me what they are doing, I feel excited for them too and I always tell them I wish I could turn back time and do it again.I've made wonderful friends there and one whom I'm currently living with now.

Yes, life is full of surprises. How this arrogant good looking guy whom I once despise ended up being one of my closes friend in Bristol and subsequently my housemate. And how people I thought were my friends have no connection with me now whatsoever. It's a shame how things turn out but life goes on.One door closes and the other one opens. I thought things were going downhill from that day but now, everything looks wonderful from my perspective.

Then unexpectedly, I also went out with my ex housemate who used to live right next to my room. We sat down for a drink comparing notes about our current house/housemates. At first I did contemplate alot about moving into my current house a few months back. After all, living with people from different cultural backgrounds can sometimes be difficult. (that's after my bad experience in 2005) But, it all turned out well here and I'm happy.

Luckily too, my housemates are forgiving people because I'm such a clumsy person. (like how I left the front door open the whole night or when I forgot to turn off the oven) Of course there is the usual clumsiness like forgetting keys, handphone or wallet. Or breaking glasses and dropping things on the floor. (Oh yeah, I'm so glad there's no windows for me to walk through because I am so capable of that!) I wish there is a potion/medicine for blurness.

Moving on, I had a last minute call for a photoshot tomorrow!! Yes, I'm always so excited because it means free foad and camwhoring. It's going to be for some brochures within the EU at approximately 20K copies. Whatever it is, I'm getting paid whether my face is there or at the background. And I finally get to pose with POWER SUIT...muahahaha

What a wonderful day. =P

15:50 0 Potato(es)

Tuesday, 2 October 2007

That's me. All in Pink. Probably the most frustrating part of my life. Always crying and never get my message across ;like how I poo and my parents thought I was hungry.

Then it's all about knowing one self. I could be a red-indian chinese.

And then there was the time I always stumble and fall. Not like it has changed much. I still trip on flat roads. :(

The Fashion me. Kid clothes, concerts and adverts. Professional camwhore since young. good eh? lol Weirdly, I don't remember much about any of the adverts. The only thing I remember was when I was forced to walk with a thick book on my head up and down the staircase for some shows.Perhaps that is why I hate the steps or I'm just plain lazy!

16:58 2 Potato(es)

Yes, I know part of my major relates to reading every damn case that goes through Strasbourg relating to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. I'm not going to bore you with the law.....I mean I'll try.

First Question: Do you know what your rights are?

Of course, because, hypothetically we are all SMART people right? So smart people should know their rights and we don't need the law to tell us what we have, only what we CAN'T DO.

I know I have freedom of speech; that's why God gave me my mouth
I know I have the right to get a fair trial; cuz lawyers don't fall down from the sky like angels to help you. You pay them through your nose, and after that you can go sell your ass!

See I believe the Human Rights Act is just a common sense piece of legislation. But it was release because individuals couldn't sue the government. I'll spare you the political explanation for the above.

Now, moving on with the Organization. I admit, the United Nations have done a lot for the people but there are just some aspect of their nomination skills I can't seem to comprehend.

There are 47 sits in the Human Rights Committee. Now, when we talk about committee members, you expect someone who has a certain standard you can look up to but when you put countries like China, Saudi Arabia and Cuba inside which violates most of the Human Rights Law, it makes me wonder.

In fact, it's all too bizarre seeing representatives of these countries sitting in a round table with big banner behind written HUMAN RIGHTS CONFERENCE. I wonder what would they discuss.

China: Yeah, we found another 1 million babies buried. Didn't bother checking. Bet it was all female. But don't worry, we are over populated. Many people still can't afford tv. Couples will entertain themselves and the females will be back.

Sudan: Oh yeah, we had war and we killed 2 million people! But don't worry, we still have more people alive enough to survive another war.

Sierra Leone: We have rebels chopping off limbs of men,women and children. Don't worry, some are still alive; only with missing body parts.

They are putting KNOWN Human Rights Abuser as part of the committee to prevent crimes. It's like requesting a thief to be a policeman to catch robbers.

AND recently I found an article here. It states that "some people" are suggesting that robots too should be included in the Act and if they are included, "states will be obligated to provide full social benefits to them including income support, housing and possibly robo-healthcare to fix the machines over time."

Now tell me do you still think this whole Human Rights thing is sane?

16:57 1 Potato(es)

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